Temasek Engineering School, Singapore

A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals had a habit of picking on strangers. So when he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen. He went back into the bar, handily flipped his gun into the air, caught it above his head and fired a shot into the ceiling. ”WHICH ONE OF YOU SIDEWINDERS STOLE MY HOSS?” he yelled.
No one answered.
”ALL RIGHT, I’M GONNA HAVE ANOTHA’ BEER, AND IF MY HOSS AIN’T BACK OUTSIDE BY THE TIME I FINISH, I’M GONNA DO WHAT I DONE IN TEXAS! AND I DON’T LIKE TO HAVE TO DO WHAT I DONE IN TEXAS!”
Some of the locals shifted restlessly. The cowboy had another beer, walked outside, and his horse was back! He saddled up and started to ride out of town. The bartender wandered out of the bar and asked, ”Say partner, before you go. . .what happened in Texas?”
The cowboy turned back and said meekly, ”I had to walk home.”

Here’s a little thought of mine: 

Transgressions give way to growth, 
Tribulations to maturity, 
Exploration to self-realization.

- (I kinda like how the whole thing ALMOST rhymed, but don’t.
Like the subtle effect of something nearly perfect, but isnt.
Like the thrill of falling off the edge of a cliff, but havent.
Like the excitment of near penetration, but hasnt.
Like a needle almost to your skin, but not.)

It ALMOST rhymed again.

Anyway, a little explanations on my impromptu “poetic” phrases.

“Like the subtle effect of something nearly perfect, but isnt.” If you’re artistic, you’ll imagine an unfinished art piece. If you’re a school teacher (lecturers included) you might be thinking of that B+ you gave to that almost perfect assignment.

“Like the thrill of falling off the edge of a cliff, but havent.” If you’re a sports enthusiast, you would think of bungee jumping. If you’re in the army, you might be thinking of parachute practices.

“Like the excitment of near penetration, but hasnt.” If you’re lusty, it brings to mind a recent movie directed by renowned film director Ang Lee. If you’re getting your ears pierced, you might envision the needle alomost penetrating your flesh, but hasnt.

“Like a needle almost to your skin, but not.” If you’re a drug addict, you might think of another booze (which I would then recommend The Helping Hand Rehab at Hougang). If you were once a primary 6 student, you might be reminded of the BCG jab you were forced to take.

Basically, your intepretations on what you read mirrors your background, history, intimate thoughts, and therefore yourself. Poets wrote poetries to help us understand who we are. The same reason artists paint abstract arts. Well, I think.

I don’t know about the rest of you, but for me, the project submission week just passed and I’m feeling more relaxed and carefree than I have in some weeks now. Thus I went to surf the Internet for some jokes, which I hope can cheer those people who are still stressed with their projetcs or examinations -

1) Love affairs : Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.

2) Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through “the minds of either”

3) Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

4) Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

5) Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power ..

6) Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.

7) Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.

Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.

9) Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

10) Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

11) Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

12) Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together

If you do not procrastinate like I do, then I strongly suggest the busy people who are always rushing projects or studying for a quiz / term test take some time out daily from your busy schedules to read some jokes or amusing stuff to lighten up your mood and to relax for, maybe, 15 minutes. It will definitely help.

During my org com presentation, we got this sentence in our letter of request. It says..
“We also hope that you can recommend some non-halal food for our Muslim colleagues.”

When my classmate said this sentence, I noticed one of my malay classmate’s reaction.
I guess he was almost dozing off. When he suddenly heard this sentence..
His eyes almost popped out. His reaction was really funny.
And I did know what wrong at first.

Anyway, the mistake made was unintentional.
No one in my group actually realise this.
Hope muslims are not offended.

Anyway I found out the meaning of halal.
This term is used to describe anything permissible under Islamic law.
So I learn something today. Don’t ever make the same mistake again.

LOL ! I just received this interesting email frm my fren. Sharing wif u guys, quite funny.
 
WHAT IS MARKETING ? 

1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: “ I am very rich. Marry me! “– That’s Direct Marketing

2. You’re at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says: ‘ He’s very rich. ‘Marry him.’ - That’s Advertising

3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day, you call and say: “Hi, I’m very rich. Marry me” - That’s Telemarketing

4. You’re at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the door (of the car) for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her ride and then say: “By the way, I’m rich. Will you Marry Me?” - That’s Public Relations

5. You’re at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says: “You are very rich! Can you marry me?” - That’s Brand Recognition

6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: “I am very rich. Marry me!” She gives you a nice hard slap on your face. - That’s Customer Feedback

7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: “I am very rich. Marry me!” And she introduces you to her husband. - That’s demand and supply gap

8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say anything, another person come and tell her: “I’m rich. Will you marry me?” and she goes with him - That’s competition eating into your market share

9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say: “I’m rich, Marry me!” your wife arrives. - That’s restriction for entering new markets

ok guys… the last Part of Funny Animals

              ^
 What pets do when we are away.
               v

Cant reach ur buttock? Time to go on a Diet!

There toilet rolls are interesting stuff…

Check out these funny Pictures on toilets

Here comes part 3 !

  See no EVIL !

 
What pets do when when we are at work.

                                            ^
Let me show you how to SMILE !
                                            v

When I watch those american comdies, I don’t really understand what’s so funny about it.
And there’s this background laughter which indicates which part is funny.
So I like try to figure out, but still don’t get it.
So nvm. I just switched off the tv.

Humour is a kind of human instinct.
We don’t have to learn it. 
We’ll know when something is funny.
It’s so amazing….